Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Write A Letter Wednesday
You gave of yourself when I needed you the most.
You brought flowers, words of love and encouragement.
When I had nothing to give.
As I had nothing left inside of me.
Death was nearer to me than I had realized.
Peace eluded me.
Rage, self hatred, self condemnation ran rapt in my soul.
Life had nothing to offer that I could see.
But your friendship reached beyond the darkness inside of me.
You would tell me; how important I was.
It was hard to hear or believe when all had been lost to me.
Believing I was special or important didn't even seem possible at all.
My heart beat was dying slowly day by day.
I felt the grip of death and hopelessness strangling the very life out of me.
Pressing in each day a bit harder than the day before.
Its grip tighter with each passing day.
You gave me hope when I couldn't see none.
All I could see was death in the mirror.
I hardly knew the girl in mirror any longer.
It seemed a ghost of a person of who I was.
You spent hours on the phone and spoke to me of things that only one that had been there could understand.
You said there is a answer and a hope.
I listened, tears flowed with signs of hope raising inside of me.
As the minutes passed and turned in to hours.
I asked how?
You told me a war was raging inside of me.
It was my choice to make.
I didn't understand.
You said God was in there kicking butt!
All I had to do is remember this and say it when I couldn't do it on my own.
"Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world."
I had no idea how this was to be.
Nor what these words would mean to me in the coming hours, days, and weeks.
Or how important they would become as I struggled with life as I knew it and what it was becoming.
They strengthened me in the days and weeks ahead as I struggled.
I was grateful for them and knew I was on the road of recovery and happiness once again.
Which later I came to realize was life giving words from His holy word in scripture.
You said just choose life and He will help you, and guide you.
I listened with anticipation.
The despair and self loathing seemed to start to fade somewhat, as your words were soothing to my soul; the longer we talked.
The hours you spent speaking with me gave me such hope.
Which I have had since that day on the phone so many years ago.
It seems a life time ago.
Someone in a dream.
And that girl was someone else not me.
But it is me!
Healed over time, molded, and grown from a life that seems so distance now.
One that has caused me to be the happiest I have ever been.
The girl that was dying that day and the weeks and days before that had seen no way out.
Now had a new life breathed into her that afternoon on the phone with a friend that cared enough to share.
That day on the phone, she found a hope and vision of a new life.
She had a reason and hope to live life to the fullest once more.
Not as it once was.
But I would gain so much more.
That what I had lost would be restored.
It would be a process of healing and growing over time.
But much better than I could have ever dreamed or imagined.
It has been an adventure of a life time.
One I'm glad I didn't miss out on.
You gave me that place of peace, hope, love and a life worth more than I could dream.
Because you cared enough to give of yourself, your time, and share the message of hope that can only bring the life that God can give.
With that I have been able to share and bring hope to others because you cared enough to give it to me.
Each day I'm so grateful and thankful for you.
I may not see you, speak with you, or even write.
Words will never express how I feel and what you mean to me.
She may not have survived or made it through the year, death was imminent.
You heard the calling you stepped up and said that is my friend and I will be there for her no matter what.
Write A Letter Wednesday