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Daily Journey

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Write A Letter Wednesday

We were asked to write a letter to someone that we missed or place, business, group, that played an important role in our life durning a difficult time we were going through.
Well this just seemed like a great place to say that special thank~you to an {AWESOME!} friend for being there when I didn't even know how much I truly needed her.
Parts of the letter will be in the third person. As it really does seem like two different people writing this letter to thank her.
In many ways it is two different people. The girl before and the girl after. A small glimpse into a dark world that no longer exist but is a part of..... what made me who I am.




Life Time friends
Dear Ms. Judi B.,
I'm writing this letter to thank you for all that you have given to me.
You gave of yourself when I needed you the most.
You brought flowers, words of love and encouragement.
When I had nothing to give.
You had a smile when all I had were tears.
You gave unconditional hugs with no words or expectations.
As I had nothing left inside of me.
Death was nearer to me than I had realized.
Peace eluded me.
Rage, self hatred, self condemnation ran rapt in my soul.
Life had nothing to offer that I could see.
But your friendship reached beyond the darkness inside of me.
You would tell me; how important I was.
How special to those around me I truly was.
That those that loved me would be lost without me.
It was hard to hear or believe when all had been lost to me.
Believing I was special or important didn't even seem possible at all.
My heart beat was dying slowly day by day.
The joy of life, the smiles and the laughter were leaving slowly each minute of each day.
I felt the grip of death and hopelessness strangling the very life out of me.
Pressing in each day a bit harder than the day before.
Its grip tighter with each passing day.
You gave me hope when I couldn't see none.
All I could see was death in the mirror.
A lifeless soul with nothing to live for.
You called it the walking dead.
I hardly knew the girl in mirror any longer.
It seemed a ghost of a person of who I was.
I had already died inside.
You spent hours on the phone and spoke to me of things that only one that had been there could understand.
You said there is a answer and a hope.
I listened, tears flowed with signs of hope raising inside of me.
As the minutes passed and turned in to hours.
I asked how?
You told me a war was raging inside of me.
I had a choice this day.
A choice between life and death.
It was my choice to make.
I didn't understand.
But you gave me His words and the life of the living God of  hope, love, grace, mercy, peace, forgiveness's and so much more.
You said God was in there kicking butt!
All I had to do is remember this and say it when I couldn't do it on my own.
"Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world."
I had no idea how this was to be.
Nor what these words would mean to me in the coming hours, days, and weeks.
Or how important they would become as I struggled with life as I knew it and what it was becoming.
They strengthened me in the days and weeks ahead as I struggled.
I was grateful for them and knew I was on the road of recovery and happiness once again.
Which later I came to realize was life giving words from His holy word in scripture.
You said just choose life and He will help you, and guide you.
I listened with anticipation.
The despair and self loathing seemed to start to fade somewhat, as your words were soothing to my soul; the longer we talked.
The hours you spent speaking with me gave me such hope.
Visions of a new life.
Which I have had since that day on the phone so many years ago.
It seems a life time ago.
Someone in a dream.
And that girl was someone else not me.
But it is me!
Healed over time, molded, and grown from a life that seems so distance now.
One that has caused me to be the happiest I have ever been.
The girl that was dying that day and the weeks and days before that had seen no way out.
Now had a new life breathed into her that afternoon on the phone with a friend that cared enough to share.
That day on the phone, she found a hope and vision of a new life.
A reason to believe she was worth living in the land of the breathing.
She was born again!
She had a reason and hope to live life to the fullest once more.
Not as it once was.
But so much better.
I would not gain what I had lost.
But I would gain so much more.
That what I had lost would be restored.
It would be a process of healing and growing over time.
But much better than I could have ever dreamed or imagined.
It has been an adventure of a life time.
One I'm glad I didn't miss out on.
Yes!
I have so much to be thankful for.
You gave me that place of peace, hope, love and a life worth more than I could dream.
Because you cared enough to give of yourself, your time, and share the message of hope that can only bring the life that God can give.
With that I have been able to share and bring hope to others because you cared enough to give it to me.
Each day I'm so grateful and thankful for you.
I may not see you, speak with you, or even write.
But the love in my heart is endless for you.
You are a friend that gave all of yourself not just that afternoon but through the days when I wasn't even a friend to myself. You were my friend with no conditions. The unconditional love and friendship that only comes from above.
My friend forever and I'm so grateful to God because he blessed me with you as my friend.
Words will never express how I feel and what you mean to me.
But if their are awards given and crowns of glory for what you have given to me; I know you will receive them and any awards for the one who gives so much with nothing in return.
You helped a lost soul find her way back home to those who love her.
She may not have survived or made it through the year, death was imminent.
You heard the calling you stepped up and said that is my friend and I will be there for her no matter what.
I will walk with you in the garden of life in every season.
You have and you do!
Thank you my friend!
Your Loving Friend



Do you have an extremely important person that played a huge part in who you are today?


Write A Letter Wednesday 
http://write-a-letter-wednesday.blogspot.com/





4 comments:

Brittney said...

wow you should print this out and send it to her! That is just powerful and amazing that she had such an influence on you

Josie said...

Oh Bethe, what a powerful and beautiful tribute you have written to your friend! It left me in tears. I too remember a broken, battered woman who welcomed death and saw no reason to go on living. Your friend was a gift from God in the truest sense, a messenger of His love, hope, and faithfulness. Life without that is dark and meaningless. It is only thru the ministering of His angels, like your friend, that we were able to find our way out of that darkness, to learn to love ourselves again, to embrace life, and to discover how abundant and joyful it can be! Having been in the darkest of nights, we can truly celebrate the Light in our lives and realize how blessed we are. My life, as is yours, is a testament that there is always hope, we have only to reach out and believe!

This letter took great courage to write, I know what it takes to put the words down, and I also know how very freeing it is, once it is done. There are no more dark secrets. Those days are gone, that girl lives no more. We are new creations, and we walk in love and light!

Thank you so much for sharing this letter with us, it humbles me, and I am honored to call you a sister and a friend.

Bethe77 said...

Josie thank you. It was harder to post it than to write it. But yes it is truly freeing and she was that friend that lOrd sent and so many since to hold those threads of a fragile person together each step fo the way.
Thank you for hosting and giving me a chance to write this. You too a gift from God for me. As you along with many others in the blogging world are helping me and are encouraign me to write and to learn new skills thank thank you.
Yes! Sister and friend.
Blessings

JL Dodge said...

Beth,
You are such a beautiful woman, this letter to Judi it so powerful and full of love !
I hope you see how very gifted you are and how much we all appreciate your love and honesty !
Darkness fades when we have the love of another to guide us through, I am so glad you have Judi to walk with ! She sounds like a great friend !

Thank you Beth, you brighten my days, when I see the comments you leave you give a smile to my heart !!

ENJOY !